Essie Weighs in On Confidence and Accepting Love Interests

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You want me??? Are you sure??

YES! Ladies, let’s sit down and talk about a very important topic; men and/or women being attracted to you.  I remember the first time a person, one whom I never thought would be attracted to me, approached me.  I was with a group of my friends and was dressed to the T! I had my high heels on, and my hair and makeup were on point. We were laughing and drinking when this guy approached us.

He said “Hey” to everyone, and made eye contact with me. He asked my name, and if I’d like a drink.  I literally thought he was talking to someone else, so not only did I lean to the side to be sure, but I also looked around to see who else he could’ve been talking to. My friends laughed, and told me he was talking to me. The next sentence out of my mouth was, “Are you sure?” He said, “I think so, unless you’re crazy.”

Ladies the following questions should NEVER be asked to someone who is interested in you:

Have you ever been with a big girl?

Can you handle me?

Why do you like me?

Is this a joke?

Fat girls used to be considered easy targets, because obviously our bodies were ugly and it was often assumed that we had low self-esteem and didn’t love ourselves. People are shocked when they see the stereotype of the low-self-esteem-having-fat-girl steadily disappearing.  It’s time that all of us let those old insecurities go and get with the program! You can be considered fat and attractive to someone. It’s not some farfetched idea.  It’s the reality.

I remember having a conversation with one of my friends (let’s call her Pam) about her dating a plus-sized woman. She said she did it once, but never again. When I asked if it have to do with the woman’s body, she said, no. It had more to do with her insecurities, and “fake confidence.”  They met at a party, and the woman (let’s call her Gina) was literally the life of the party.  Gina looked good, smelled great, and had the attitude of a size 4 model, which Pam was super attracted to. They went on a few good dates, but after a while it got weird. Gina kept making fun of Pam’s previous skinny girlfriends. She kept asking Pam things like, “Are you sure you like me? Can you handle me? You know I’m fat right?” At first, Pam didn’t mind, but after a while it became exhausting having to prove to Gina that she wanted to be there, and that she didn’t care about what everyone else thought about her larger frame.

You see where I am going with this?

What makes us attract such amazingly beautiful people, only to turn them down? Is it because we feel it’s some kind of a high school joke?  BUT, that is not the joke. Maybe the joke is on those of us who have convinced ourselves and the world that we are NOT deserving of all these things we pine for. Things like being treated with respect and having a level playing field with our smaller counter parts in all facets of life, from fashion to dating. Maybe we really don’t think we are worthy of these things.

BUT, you ARE WORTHY of these things!

As humans our tastes in everything changes. Our clothes change, our dreams change, our friends change.  Who we are attracted to throughout our lives change too. When I was a child I crushed on cartoon characters.  In my teen years I loved boy bands and Jonathan Taylor Thomas (judge me).  Now at the awesome age of 28 (LOL) my taste in people is completely different.

So why would we find it hard to believe that someone who normally dates someone smaller, taller, bigger (or whatever you want to insert there), wouldn’t evolve too?  Accept that they’ve found something they’re attracted to, in YOU!

About Essie: Born in New Jersey and raised in Orlando, Essie Golden moved to New York City to pursue her dreams of fashion. In the midst of her career, Essie Golden has become a model, a body-positive advocate, and a trusted and respected voice within the plus size community. Learn more about and read more posts at GoldenKaleidoscope.com

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- Repost by plussizebabydolldress.blogspot.com -
Source link::http://thecurvyfashionista.com/2015/02/essie-weighs-in-on-confidence-and-accepting-love-interests/

Fashion Blogger Spotlight: Kelly of Kelly Augustine

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Happy Friday!! Last week, you got to meet Margie of Margie Plus, and today, I’m so excited to bring you blogger Kelly of Kelly Augustine! Kelly’s bold and funky style and gorgeous photography make perusing her blog a true delight.  She exudes confidence through her blog, inspiring while she entertains.  Known for her fashionable and cute look books and Masque Magazine, Kelly is no stranger to the plus size blogging community! She is a plus size blogger YOU NEED TO KNOW!

Meet Kelly of Kelly Augustine

Blog:  www.kellyaugustine.com
Height: 5’7”
Age and Location: 28, NYC/NJ
What made you want to become a fashion blogger?
I was blogging at a magazine for two years, and I’d always had an interest in fashion. I was covering fashion shows, and of course, I was dressing to attend. My friend snapped a picture of me and the rest was history. That photo ended up in magazines and really led me to think about turning the camera around on myself.

What are the challenges, if any, you face in being plus-size?
I wouldn’t call it a challenge, but I have a very tough time dressing my bottom half. I have an hourglass shape, so finding pants is such a painful process. For a very long time, I’d only worn skirts because of it. Luckily, a lot of pants have “give” now, so I’ve been able to pinpoint a couple of brands that really work for my body type. Other than that, I don’t really feel “challenges” because I’ve grown to love my body and I’ve taken the time to research what works for me. I also have a very loving, incredible support system so I never hear negative remarks towards my body.

What’s your favorite thing about being plus-size?
I love how different my body can make a garment look! Curves are an amazing accessory for any outfit and can literally transform a piece of fabric into something more.

What’s your favorite thing about being a blogger? A plus fashion blogger?
I really love the people that I’ve met since becoming a blogger. I also get incredible opportunities to do things I never, ever thought that I would and get a chance to release my creative energies, which leads to me just being happier overall.

Who/what are your favorite designers and brands?
Zero + Maria Cornejo is one of my absolute fashion brands; they’re so fuss-free and timeless. And I love Shayne Oliver’s IDGAF attitude when it comes to street style with Hood By Air. In plus-size specifically, I’m obsessed with Zelie for She’s approach to plus-size fashion.  There’s always a concept and story behind the designs, and the creative videos and lookbook shots get that message across – it creates a full experience. I also really love the edge of Carmakoma and 17Sundays; they’re so euro-chic. I dig how Lane Bryant has expanded their offering in the past year or so, and given us some very thoughtfully designed pieces. Overall, I just really love clothes, haha.

Describe your personal style.
My personal style is always changing, but what remains the same is how reflective of my mood it is. The past few months have been a transitional period for me, so I was wearing a lot of black. Now I’m focused and ready to get back into colors and leather – I feel like I should have been born in another era, I LOVE leather!

Any bloggers currently on your radar?
Diamond Mahone (www.DiamondJanae.com) is SO underrated. Monica (www.letitbeworn.com) is a newcomer on the scene and I love her minimalistic fashion sense. Blake Von D (www.blakevond.com) is SO stunning, Lalaa Misaki (www.lalaamisaki.com) is so fly and French, and Lulu Linden (www.lululinden.com) is so adorable. I also can’t wait to see what Essie Golden (www.essiegolden.com) does with her #GoldenConfidence campaign this year; it’s one of my favorite Instagram hashtags.

Anything else you want The Curvy Fashionista’s readers to know?
I’m making more videos now! Check out my YouTube channel, https://www.youtube.com/user/MASQUEmagazine. Also, remember to love yourself some YOU today

Be sure to check out Kelly’s blog at KellyAugustine.com!!

Do you dig her style? Which look is your fave? Let’s talk about it below!!

Are you a personal style blogger? Want to be featured? Make sure you shoot us an e-mail so that we can feature you!

- Repost by plussizebabydolldress.blogspot.com -
From::http://thecurvyfashionista.com/2015/02/fashion-blogger-spotlight-kelly-of-kelly-augustine/

Confidence: Getting it & Keeping it

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Photo Credit: Lydia Hudgens

This blog is probably long overdue, but I wanted to give some of my confidence tips.  

Stake your confidence in your abilities rather than genetics:  One of the biggest contributing factors to my confidence is my foundation.  When I was child, I never cared to be beautiful.  Beauty seemed unearned and just something you happen by on genetics or what someone else thought of you.  I wanted to be smart, athletic, accomplished, and independent...and I was/am.  I still go to batting cages and hit 80mph pitches just to make sure I can still do it, get a high off of running a successful business (my first and only business), and I ambitiously collect achievements.  Even though you can say that I'm in the business of beauty, my confidence is not my face, but the ability to put together an outfit and help other people do the same. I say all of that to say is be proud of what you can do and what you do for others.  External beauty will fade, but your accomplishments and abilities won't. You earned them.

I think, therefore I am:  Beauty is subjective and if you ask a different person about another person's beauty you'll get a different answer every time. The only assessment that matters is your own. I know this can be easier said than done.  So much of confidence is the willingness to believe in your own beauty, own it, and claim it.   Getting over your own mind.  As a blogger, I get attacked on so many aspect of my being every day, but I know who I am.  Someone else's opinion won't formulate who I am now or who I will be in the future.  I have already decided that I am intelligent, athletic, smart, and beautiful.  

Positivity breeds positivity:  My mom would tell me that negativity breeds negativity.  Surround yourself with people that are doing something with their lives and it pushes you to do the same.  These people will celebrate your victories and help you work through issues critically, but what they won't put you down or continuously put others down.  The friends and family that influence your life should treat you in a positive way. If they aren't, there are a couple of options.  If you do have some people in your circle that don't treat you in a positive way have a conversation with them. Tell them how you feel and give them a chance to do better.  If they still choose not to, then you can choose not to hang around them. 

Be a confidence booster for others:  I think you attract what you give out in this life. It's hard to explain, but making another person feel good by giving them an authentic compliment makes me feel more confident.  It's hard to explain, but just try it.  It makes me smile and feel good about myself and my own life's mission. 

Envy is a terrible drug:  I do put partial blame the media for this, but we must be proactive in our own self-preservation and self-worth.  So if you watch certain television shows make you feel inadequate, then don't watch them.  If that Instagram account of the girl with the perfect body that makes you hate your body, then unfollow.   When you have solidified your own confidence then feel free to re-visit those media channels.  You will learn that you can appreciate someone else's beauty without feelings of inadequacy once you love yourself. 

On a final note, I can give you tips on confidence, but at the end of the day it's you who has the ultimate say on how you feel about yourself.  It can be that simple or that hard.  It's truly up to you and if you don't get it anywhere else, I want you to know that you are enough. 

Sidenote:  Kind of off the subject, but on the subject, but I wanted to let y'all know about this because I am horrible about announcing stuff. LOL.  But for your bloggers or aspiring bloggers, I will be speaker/camp counselor at the Texas Style Council held in Austin, Texas.   I will be there as a blogger mentor, bunk captain (LOL) and I even have a break out session.  I attended their first event when I still lived in Texas and had a nice time and got to connect with some amazing people. This is actually the last event, so it's cool that I am getting to host a class at the last one.  It's being held the weekend of March 20 - 22.  Although, I am happy to help any blogger, it would be cool to be able to have some plus blogger bunkmates since it's my area of expertise. Find the information here. Hope to see you there.    

- Repost by plussizebabydolldress.blogspot.com -
Repost from::http://garnerstyle.blogspot.com/2015/02/how-to-be-confident-and-stay-confident.html